Other Scientology Loans Financial Products:
Finally, all the helpful, life changing benefits of Scientology are no longer prohibitively expensive for the average person. Well, its still expensive, but we now offer a variety of loan packages to fit any budget to get you the help you so desperately need.
As you are surely aware, Scientology is the proven fact and science of alien souls, killed by the evil galactic ruler Xenu 75,000,000 years ago, attaching themselves to us humans and causing all of our "bad" feelings. Scientology is the only known means to rid you of these destructive beings, enabling you to finally find the peace and happiness you deserve through the very expensive process of Scientology Auditing.