An Open Letter To My Whole Foods Orange Juice - Gawker:
Dear Gallon of Orange Juice,
Just last Sunday I picked you up from your brightly lit case at Bowery Whole Foods. Why I picked you, only God can say. Had I not picked you, your fate surely would have traced a different course. Just last Sunday, I stood shoulder-to-shoulder with Liev Schrieber, the Brando of our generation, and we together eyed the rows and columns of fresh squeezed juice, a tropical spreadsheet. His hand, which is also the Brando's hand of our generation, reached out and plucked your citrus brother from his place while I grabbed your handle and threw you, callously, on top of a bunch of asparagus I had picked up next to The Soprano's Will Janowitz.