Wednesday, February 01, 2006

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Troubling Tyra Mails Censored From Aired Episodes of America's Next Top Model.:

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Models must not fear death. To become America's Next Top Model, you'll have to learn to stop a moving train with only your gaunt bodies and a tube of Cover Girl lip-gloss. Call your loved ones before 9:00 a.m. tomorrow. —Tyra

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Tomorrow you will know the wrath of God and feel the fury of the heavens raining down upon thee. What you learned about runway walking might come in handy. Be ready at 7:00 a.m. —Tyra

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I never understood why criminals are able to lift weights and get really strong while incarcerated. The van will be outside at 9:00 a.m. —Tyra

3:48 AM