The Bushwick Hotel:
Upon being alerted by our Mr. Creighton about the new subway restrictions going into effect today, i.e. no leg spreading, I should like to recount a particularly disturbing incident on the uptown 6 train a couple of years ago.
It wasn't crowded. I was seated. The man across from me was wearing rather abbreviated jogging shorts, but as it was warm and he looked the running type, I thought nothing of it. Nothing, until I noticed that one of his testicles was clearly visible. I went back to my paper, wondering if he'd notice. Looked up again and there was the testicle, clear as day. At this point I made eye contact with him. I realize this was foolish, but I thought that maybe ful eye contact from a stranger on the train would instill a kind of "check yourself before you wreck yourself" mentality and this, combined with the air conditioning stroking his exposed scrotal skin might make him tuck his ball in his shorts, cross his legs, and red-facedly get off at the next stop. I smiled at him helpfully. He smiled back. I went back to my paper.