Friday, September 30, 2005


The other day I was re-visiting my original impulses for making a career out of theatre, and I thought of myself sneaking out of class and breaking into the tiny theatre in my highschool and sitting on the empty stage in the darkness and just swelling with joy at all the possibilites to be carved out in that darkness. I still have that feeling sometimes, like the first time I enter a rehearsal room with a stunning group of actors, or when I walk into a theatre as the set is being built, wood sawed, flats painted... it's like falling in love. But that feeling is so fleeting, while this gnawing feeling of low-grade failure is pretty constant.

I'm trying to come to terms with it. The art of this business is not in the making of art, which is chiefly instinctual. It's in the aggressive re-discovery of one's love of magic. Because quite often there isn't much else to go on.

3:42 PM