Friday, August 08, 2003

Ladies and Gents, we take some time out from our normally narcissistic ranting to introduce this year's most exciting new addition:

Tyson 2003!

This deluxe edition features both arms and legs, impressive skin tone, healthy audio alert functions and that fresh, new-person smell. Congratulations to my brother-in-law Chip and his lovely wife Sabrina for making a wise investment in the future.

Nothing as exciting as BIRTH happening here. More shows being performed, reviews are coming out--I got 4 stars from the Metro, which is very good, I am told. Everyone cares about stars here, so I'm glad I now have some so that they will give meaning to my cold and lonely life.

8:01 AM